The earthquake of 25 April 2015 was an opportunity to learn about crisis management, humanitarian work, and identify opportunistic people seeking publicity; it was also an opportunity to witness how small gestures demonstrate bravery and generosity.

The earthquake of 25 April 2015 was an opportunity to learn about crisis management, humanitarian work, and identify opportunistic people seeking publicity; it was also an opportunity to witness how small gestures demonstrate bravery and generosity.

Parallel to the rescue and repatriation process, the Embassy began organizing small relief and humanitarian assistance missions for some of the survivors of the earthquake who were slipping through cracks of the government relief and assistance efforts. The small Bangladesh community in Nepal rallied around the Embassy’s efforts, pooling resources and organized the assistance packages; the first few missions we went to were close to Patan (Lalitpur), about an hour’s drive from the city. Our assistance packages were quite modest (but they made a huge difference to the recipients at that time) – tents, quilts, dry food, water, rubber ground sheets; and hygiene packs. The first village that we went to was almost completely destroyed, buildings were leaning crookedly against each other, some were propped up with wooden planks. We handed over the goods to the community leaders, who were extremely grateful for whatever we brought since they had not received any relief materials so far. We repeated this exercise in the following days in areas around Kathmandu (mostly the eastern part), bringing much needed succor to the inhabitants of these areas. At times we got into risky situations: during a mission to a remote location in Sindhupalchowk (Nepal’s northern most district neighboring Tibet) our motorcade almost got hit by a landslide. We had gone to handed over materials to the inhabitants of three villages and on the way back a massive landslide hit the road triggered by an aftershock; luckily we just slipped through in the nick of time. The road to Sindhupalchowk, which led to Tibet (the Arniko highway, named after the famous Tibetan architect who designed temples) was difficult, with sharp hair-pin bends and steep ups and downs and was strewn with rocks and debris from the landslides making the journey hazardous. The road was also cracked in the middle from the earthquake, a stark reminder of the recent disaster; the view however was spectacular, a reminder that nature can be beautiful and dangerous at the same time. 

Tanmoy accompanied me to all our excursions and helped with the packaging and distribution. He also participated with the children of the Embassy to distribute coked food at relief camps. He was a huge support to me in this distressful time. 

Meanwhile, we kept on receiving generous contributions from people and organisations in Bangladesh. The Mirzapur Ex Cadet Association (MECA), Minhas’s alumni, generously donated stationary items for school children which we distributed among students of six schools. PRAN group sent several truckloads of dry food, the Banker’s Association sent 30,000 blankets, WaterAid Bangladesh sent  trucks full of medicines, bleaching powder, hygiene packs, water purifiers, BGMEA donated 25,000 pieces of garments, just to name a few. The Armed Forces Medical Team that had arrived on 26 April had started working the very next day, at a location east of Kathmandu, camping at a school that was badly damaged working with survivors. The Bangladesh Army was generous, they worked with the Nepalese Army and separately sent relief materials as requested by the latter, mostly large tents, tarpaulin and rubber ground sheets. The government of Bangladesh sent 16,000 MT rice in two tranches (the logistics of the rice shipments were the biggest headache of the whole disaster; the Nepalese did not have adequate storage, the trucks from Bangladesh were given transit by India because of the humanitarian aspect and came directly into Nepal via Banglabandha-Fulbari-Panirtanki-Kakorvitta route).

Some moments of hilarity helped us keep our bearings amidst the stress. Relief materials were being brought from Bangladesh by C-130 special flights; one special mission left behind the Mission Commander (a Colonel) and Deputy Mission Commander when the pilot unilaterally decided to take off without them after they had been delayed on their way back from visiting the Camp Hospital operated by the Bangladesh Army Medical Team, leaving them stranded. The Mission Commander was the younger brother of a friend so I took him to my house (by then we had moved indoors) to stay overnight and gave him Tanmoy’s clothes. My colleague took deputy and they went by the next day’s special flights; it became a running joke between us. We also got some hilarious offers of help – one friend offered to bring relief materials with the expectation that after the distribution was done, they could spend the evenings partying. Minhas poured cold water on their plans, telling him that if he intended to visit Nepal at this time, he should be ready to arrange his own tent, food and vehicle. It was a clear demonstration that some people in Bangladesh had no idea about the reality of the situation in Nepal. 

I was amazed at the generosity demonstrated by Bangladesh towards Nepal – the government, various organisations, and ordinary citizens reached out and offered real help and assistance. I had no idea there was so much good will for Nepal in Bangladesh. Apart from the formal channels, there were numerous private initiatives that we learnt about later; an artist’s group collected a large fund to disburse among artists in Nepal whose studios and art works had been damaged by the earthquake, some medical colleges which had Nepali students sent separate medical teams to assist with treatment of survivors, business partners offered support. My conservative estimate put the total assistance from Bangladesh to Nepal to be around US$ 20 million. 

There was 24-hour media coverage of the earthquake and post-earthquake situation in Bangladesh. The media team from Bangladesh created a circus that needed to be managed sensitively, straining our limited resources. The media coverage sometimes tended to dramatise the earthquake and make it larger than life. 

We received numerous teams from Dhaka, some arriving with genuine sympathy and materials to help, others who came simply because it would be a good photo op and provide publicity. One team from Cox’s Bazaar came and announced that they would help Muslims only, and went around in the relief camps looking for Muslims to help – an embarrassment for us since distress does not discriminate among religions. 

We did gain a lot of goodwill in Nepal from our efforts, especially because of the individual outreach efforts of the Embassy. We donated a large consignment to Dharma Rajika Vihara in Thamel, a prominent Buddhist monastery in Kathmandu since the guru maa (the first female head monk of Nepal) was very respected and influential among the Buddhist community in Nepal and we had heard that a lot of distressed people were reaching out to them (this helped us when we were trying to obtain a piece of land in the International Buddhist Garden in Lumbini, but that is another story). I received personal calls from many people seeking assistance, including one from the wife of a Deputy Prime Minister, who requested for tents for her village. I got recognition in many unexpected ways – once I was sitting in a hospital waiting room and was approached by a stranger who respectfully touched my feet and blessed me because he had witnessed the quiet work we had done (unlike the larger than life assistance provided by India and USA). Another time I got frightened because a man came to me (as soon as I had got out of my car) to thank me. Such gestures reminded me that we were doing something right. 

Last thoughts: The earthquake taught me about leadership even when you feel like breaking down in tears because you are scared; about the need to stay calm and rapid response. It taught me about coordination, resilience, and generosity and the need to retain a sense of humour even in the darkest hour. I am happy that our efforts were discussed and recognized by our Cabinet, who lauded our activities.

About a month before the earthquake, at a gathering of Ambassadors, everyone had been talking about earthquake auditing of buildings. Someone had recently done an audit of their Chancery and Residence and found that the buildings needed retro-fitting to make them earthquake safe. The Swiss Ambassador asked me whether I had done similar earthquake auditing of the Bangladesh House and the Chancery; I responded half-jokingly that if I sought funds from MOFA in Dhaka for this sort of expenditure, they would think that I had been living in Nepal for too long and was going crazy from localities (a condition from which many diplomats suffer when they are stationed in a country for too long and begin to identify themselves more with the host country than their own country). Unfortunately, the earthquake proved that the auditing might have been necessary. 

Empowerment and Equitable Opportunities

I wonder why it is so difficult for society to offer equitable opportunities to women that would enable them to develop into contributing members of the society.

Recently I attended a seminar organized by the UNOPS, UNWOMEN and UN Resident Coordinator for Bangladesh that aimed to understand and present how far Bangladesh has progressed on SDG 5 (gender parity/equitable opportunities for women) and SDG 16 (governance) after working at the grassroots level for a year on these Goals the seminar was entitled “She Leads Tomorrow” (I have reservations about the title: I would prefer to have it as She Should Have Led Yesterday). I was invited to speak as a panelist on a session that aimed to share experiences of female diplomats; the Ambassadors of Morocco, Bhutan and the Maldives were also in the panel with me.

While the panel discussion did not really cover much substantive ground or offer new insight on how women diplomats shape their careers and what challenges and obstacles they navigate throughout their careers (partly because the time allotted for the discussion was only 30 minutes which hardly allowed for any in-depth discussion and also because their was no scope for interaction with the audience), the theme and preceding discussions got me thinking on what it is to be a girl/woman who wishes to have the freedom to make her own choice without society judging her choices according to some predetermined norms over which she has no control. I have no intention of going into deep discussions about feminism or feminist theories – I am simply interested to understand some of the narratives that shape our thoughts and consequently our behavior choices.

I grew up in a family of girls; three daughters (No brothers! Another red flag in our society that believes that a family is somehow lacking if it does not have a son), Amma and Abba. We grew up in a kind of social, psychological and cultural freedom that is rare in a typical Bangladeshi household. In a way I think it shaped my view of life, I grew up assuming that every family was like ours and found it strange that they were not. In this utopian bubble that I grew up in, I thought empowerment and opportunities were automatic and to be taken for granted. Most girls however, do not enjoy this sort of life when they are growing up – many girls grow up to womanhood, enter marriage, become mothers and end their lives without realizing that they have the right to agency over their lives. Fathers, brothers, sons and male colleagues, members of the society create an environment that often leaves women financially, economically, psychologically and physically dependent and vulnerable. I was once shocked when a classmate (a radical Leftist at that time!) expressed that he did not like it when his mother went out of the house and he felt that she should always be at home to serve their needs (unfortunately he carried this chauvinistic attitude into his marriage, though luckily his daughter seems to have escaped this pattern of domination). They problem is, this situation is created not only by men, but often enabled by women also since they believe that this will give them a better life. 

To me empowerment represents something simple – the ability to make a choice; financial, education, career, marriage, motherhood, or whatever. However, huge social and cultural layers overshadow this right to choose one’s destiny.

Joining the diplomatic service in 1991, I went through many stages of these physical social and cultural barriers. I was six months pregnant when I joined in January (my son Tanmoy was born in April) and the maternity leave granted was three months but weirdly, only six weeks post-birth, which was hardly adequate either for the mother or the baby. My batch mates and I (the only female in a batch of 8) were sent to the training academy for our mandatory professional training, but the academy would not accept a pregnant trainee and I was sent back to the Ministry. Thus I faced my first professional set back within a month of joining, as a woman because the system was not equipped or willing to adjust to accommodate a situation that was a very normal part of our life, but unusual for MOFA at that time. Back at MOFA, and after I joined after giving birth, I was assigned to a very demanding desk. I vividly remember my first Director’s words when I went to report to him: the poor man, perhaps out of good intentions and concern for my wellbeing, started to tell me that I was in the wrong profession as a woman, and wondered how my husband could let me join this profession, and so on and urged me to reconsider continuing in MOFA. Needless to say, the more he spoke, the more irritated and stubborn I got, because I firmly believed that whether I worked or not or where I worked was primarily my decision and my husband should not be influencing it (though, incidentally he has always been very supportive). This short interaction reinforces the argument that employment of a woman often depends on a family’s permission – the husband has to let the wife work and often her choice to work or not has no role in the matter. In 1991, women in the Foreign Service were still a rare phenomenon, making us more vulnerable to judgment at the workplace, at home, at the society at large. Working women were still uncommon and even among our friends, apart from those who were doctors, hardly anyone worked and I often had to respond to queries as to why I chose to work instead of focusing on home and family (this always struck me as an oxymoron – why would I not work after spending eight grueling years working for a degree!).

As the years went by and I climbed up the ladder at MOFA, I witnessed that though there was no active discrimination against women, there was a tendency to view women through a different prism and subject them to expectations that were different from our male colleagues. A female diplomat who performed below average, it was a generalized example of female diplomats who under-performed. I can now look back with humor at the chauvinistic behaviors that my male colleagues demonstrated: my DG, whether knowingly or unknowingly, once made me climb up and down two flights of stairs and up and down corridors from his office (which was on the first floor of one building) to mine (the far end of the fourth floor of another building) because of some urgent matter until I almost collapsed because I was still recovering from a C-section (but he did turn out to be a great mentor and highly appreciated me as a great officer). My first Ambassador, on learning of my posting to his station (Rome), called the Foreign Secretary demanding to know what he would do with a female officer; the Foreign Secretary, bless him, told him in a very straight forward manner that he was posting his best officer and the Ambassador would have to not only accept it but also to take care of me professionally. Rome turned out to be a tough post, both professionally and personally, but I could go through it successfully because of a wonderful support system; husband, parents and even the office. 

Of course, everyone has a different story of personal challenges and ways they overcame them or could not and adjusted their lives. Empowerment is never given to you, it is something you earn, sometimes with support from family and the greater society (and sometimes without), but it is always you who has to make the first choice – will I choose to work, will I continue education, will I compromise my professional advancement, can I absorb the blame for compromising my duties as a wife, mother and caregiver of the family for my career, are all my achievements less worthwhile than my decision not to cook everyday – difficult life choices become more difficult when there is no one to support you and tell you that you are not wrong for choosing differently. When I went for my first posting abroad, I was asked by the wife of a friend (she is a very competent doctor herself), whether I had decided to leave Minhas and go away permanently!!! 

Since we were three sister, we grew up in an environment that was very feminine; it was a very natural part of life (especially in those days) that families with girls would receive proposals for marriage for their daughters. One of Abba’s friends wife was addicted to matchmaking (she always reminded me of Mrs. Bennet in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice) – she had four daughters herself and all of them were married off by the time they were in school and college. She regularly pestered my mother to marry off my sisters, but Amma was adamant that her daughters would not be married before completing graduation (she never expressed it, but always regretted that she had to give up her studies after SSC because of the obligations of managing a large joint family and transposed that regret into fiercely supporting our education and work choices). Not all girls are lucky to have mothers like that.

Positive discrimination, affirmative action, mechanism like CEDAW and UNWPS, feminist foreign policy, SDGs aiming for gender parity, special days such as International Women’s Day and International Day of Women Diplomats and other means that policy makers come up with will work only when society realizes that empowerment is not a gift we bestow upon women, but that it is a right. In some societies, girls are in danger even inside the mother’s womb as the family debates whether or not to abort the fetus; the birth of a girl child is still sometimes considered a less desirable than the birth of a son would be and resources are spent on the son rather than the daughter when resources are scarce. In the 1980s movie Sophie’s Choice, Meryl Streep’s character the mother, gives up her daughter to the Nazis when she is told that she can save only one child and keeps her son. This is perhaps a most extreme example of what women face all over the world throughout the ages.

Interaction with Nepali Media: November 2015

Empowerment and Equitable Opportunities

I wonder why it is so difficult for society to offer equitable opportunities to women that would enable them to develop into contributing members of the society.

Recently I attended a seminar organized by the UNOPS, UNWOMEN and UN Resident Coordinator for Bangladesh that aimed to understand and present how far Bangladesh has progressed on SDG 5 (gender parity/equitable opportunities for women) and SDG 16 (governance) after working at the grassroots level for a year on these Goals the seminar was entitled “She Leads Tomorrow” (I have reservations about the title: I would prefer to have it as She Should Have Led Yesterday). I was invited to speak as a panelist on a session that aimed to share experiences of female diplomats; the Ambassadors of Morocco, Bhutan and the Maldives were also in the panel with me.

While the panel discussion did not really cover much substantive ground or offer new insight on how women diplomats shape their careers and what challenges and obstacles they navigate throughout their careers (partly because the time allotted for the discussion was only 30 minutes which hardly allowed for any in-depth discussion and also because their was no scope for interaction with the audience), the theme and preceding discussions got me thinking on what it is to be a girl/woman who wishes to have the freedom to make her own choice without society judging her choices according to some predetermined norms over which she has no control. I have no intention of going into deep discussions about feminism or feminist theories – I am simply interested to understand some of the narratives that shape our thoughts and consequently our behavior choices.

I grew up in a family of girls; three daughters (No brothers! Another red flag in our society that believes that a family is somehow lacking if it does not have a son), Amma and Abba. We grew up in a kind of social, psychological and cultural freedom that is rare in a typical Bangladeshi household. In a way I think it shaped my view of life, I grew up assuming that every family was like ours and found it strange that they were not. In this utopian bubble that I grew up in, I thought empowerment and opportunities were automatic and to be taken for granted. Most girls however, do not enjoy this sort of life when they are growing up – many girls grow up to womanhood, enter marriage, become mothers and end their lives without realizing that they have the right to agency over their lives. Fathers, brothers, sons and male colleagues, members of the society create an environment that often leaves women financially, economically, psychologically and physically dependent and vulnerable. I was once shocked when a classmate (a radical Leftist at that time!) expressed that he did not like it when his mother went out of the house and he felt that she should always be at home to serve their needs (unfortunately he carried this chauvinistic attitude into his marriage, though luckily his daughter seems to have escaped this pattern of domination). They problem is, this situation is created not only by men, but often enabled by women also since they believe that this will give them a better life. 

To me empowerment represents something simple – the ability to make a choice; financial, education, career, marriage, motherhood, or whatever. However, huge social and cultural layers overshadow this right to choose one’s destiny.

Joining the diplomatic service in 1991, I went through many stages of these physical social and cultural barriers. I was six months pregnant when I joined in January (my son Tanmoy was born in April) and the maternity leave granted was three months but weirdly, only six weeks post-birth, which was hardly adequate either for the mother or the baby. My batch mates and I (the only female in a batch of 8) were sent to the training academy for our mandatory professional training, but the academy would not accept a pregnant trainee and I was sent back to the Ministry. Thus I faced my first professional set back within a month of joining, as a woman because the system was not equipped or willing to adjust to accommodate a situation that was a very normal part of our life, but unusual for MOFA at that time. Back at MOFA, and after I joined after giving birth, I was assigned to a very demanding desk. I vividly remember my first Director’s words when I went to report to him: the poor man, perhaps out of good intentions and concern for my wellbeing, started to tell me that I was in the wrong profession as a woman, and wondered how my husband could let me join this profession, and so on and urged me to reconsider continuing in MOFA. Needless to say, the more he spoke, the more irritated and stubborn I got, because I firmly believed that whether I worked or not or where I worked was primarily my decision and my husband should not be influencing it (though, incidentally he has always been very supportive). This short interaction reinforces the argument that employment of a woman often depends on a family’s permission – the husband has to let the wife work and often her choice to work or not has no role in the matter. In 1991, women in the Foreign Service were still a rare phenomenon, making us more vulnerable to judgment at the workplace, at home, at the society at large. Working women were still uncommon and even among our friends, apart from those who were doctors, hardly anyone worked and I often had to respond to queries as to why I chose to work instead of focusing on home and family (this always struck me as an oxymoron – why would I not work after spending eight grueling years working for a degree!).

As the years went by and I climbed up the ladder at MOFA, I witnessed that though there was no active discrimination against women, there was a tendency to view women through a different prism and subject them to expectations that were different from our male colleagues. A female diplomat who performed below average, it was a generalized example of female diplomats who under-performed. I can now look back with humor at the chauvinistic behaviors that my male colleagues demonstrated: my DG, whether knowingly or unknowingly, once made me climb up and down two flights of stairs and up and down corridors from his office (which was on the first floor of one building) to mine (the far end of the fourth floor of another building) because of some urgent matter until I almost collapsed because I was still recovering from a C-section (but he did turn out to be a great mentor and highly appreciated me as a great officer). My first Ambassador, on learning of my posting to his station (Rome), called the Foreign Secretary demanding to know what he would do with a female officer; the Foreign Secretary, bless him, told him in a very straight forward manner that he was posting his best officer and the Ambassador would have to not only accept it but also to take care of me professionally. Rome turned out to be a tough post, both professionally and personally, but I could go through it successfully because of a wonderful support system; husband, parents and even the office. 

Of course, everyone has a different story of personal challenges and ways they overcame them or could not and adjusted their lives. Empowerment is never given to you, it is something you earn, sometimes with support from family and the greater society (and sometimes without), but it is always you who has to make the first choice – will I choose to work, will I continue education, will I compromise my professional advancement, can I absorb the blame for compromising my duties as a wife, mother and caregiver of the family for my career, are all my achievements less worthwhile than my decision not to cook everyday – difficult life choices become more difficult when there is no one to support you and tell you that you are not wrong for choosing differently. When I went for my first posting abroad, I was asked by the wife of a friend (she is a very competent doctor herself), whether I had decided to leave Minhas and go away permanently!!! 

Since we were three sister, we grew up in an environment that was very feminine; it was a very natural part of life (especially in those days) that families with girls would receive proposals for marriage for their daughters. One of Abba’s friends wife was addicted to matchmaking (she always reminded me of Mrs. Bennet in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice) – she had four daughters herself and all of them were married off by the time they were in school and college. She regularly pestered my mother to marry off my sisters, but Amma was adamant that her daughters would not be married before completing graduation (she never expressed it, but always regretted that she had to give up her studies after SSC because of the obligations of managing a large joint family and transposed that regret into fiercely supporting our education and work choices). Not all girls are lucky to have mothers like that.

Positive discrimination, affirmative action, mechanism like CEDAW and UNWPS, feminist foreign policy, SDGs aiming for gender parity, special days such as International Women’s Day and International Day of Women Diplomats and other means that policy makers come up with will work only when society realizes that empowerment is not a gift we bestow upon women, but that it is a right. In some societies, girls are in danger even inside the mother’s womb as the family debates whether or not to abort the fetus; the birth of a girl child is still sometimes considered a less desirable than the birth of a son would be and resources are spent on the son rather than the daughter when resources are scarce. In the 1980s movie Sophie’s Choice, Meryl Streep’s character the mother, gives up her daughter to the Nazis when she is told that she can save only one child and keeps her son. This is perhaps a most extreme example of what women face all over the world throughout the ages.

Interaction with Nepali Media: November 2015